“Hey Sam?”

What’s up?

“I’m struggling.”

That’s what I’m here for.

“You heard about the Supreme Court ruling on marriage equality from this morning, right?”

Clearly you did, so yes. What’s the problem?

“Ok. I understand why people are in favor of it. I really feel for people who have to spend their lives pretending to be something they’re not. No one should have to go through that.”

Doesn’t everyone go through that? We all pretend to be something we’re not at some point in order to keep society flowing smoothly. You, for example, pretend not to hate certain people when you’re talking to them. You pretend to be something you’re not all the time.

“Yeah. And it’s exhausting. Can you imagine being forced to do that your entire life?”

I get the feeling that you’re dodging your real issue here. Spit it out.

“Fine. I don’t understand why people are against it.”

They believe that it infringes on their freedom of religion by forcing them to acknowledge marriage as something more than their beliefs allow.

“But that’s not what freedom of religion is about, is it?”


“Freedom of religion is all about not being forced to be a part of any religion. It’s about someone not being allowed to impose their religious beliefs upon someone else. Churches aren’t being forced to perform gay marriages. That would infringe on religious freedom. This is just about a legal contract.”

It sounds to me like you are suggesting there are two sides to marriage.

“What do you mean?”

There’s the fluffy side and the paperwork side. The fluffy side is all about the chapel and the flowers and who the maid of honor will be and living together and stuff like that. The paperwork side is all the bureaucratic mumbo jumbo that you don’t actually understand. Taxes and whatnot.

“Yeah. I guess so. It seems to me that what you call ‘fluffy’ gay marriage has been happening for years. They live together, have ceremonies, and stay committed to each other just like heterosexual couples. From what I can see, all this ruling means is that they’re allowed to file the paperwork saying that they’re doing that.”

Your still dodging your own point.

“Which is?”

Why don’t you care?

“I . . . of course I . . . damn. You’re right. I’m really just so indifferent about this whole thing.”

Well, logically, this ruling will have little to no impact on your life or decisions.

“That’s true, I guess . . . wait. But if that’s true, doesn’t that also mean that it will have little to no impact on the lives of those who are avidly opposing it?”

Go on.

“I have to assume that the people opposing gay marriage are not gay.”

A logical assumption.

“So that means that this ruling will have no effect on their own ability to marry or not marry.”


“And we’ve already said that this doesn’t infringe on their religious freedom. No one’s forcing them to preside over the ceremony.”

You might go so far as to say that the exact opposite it happening. Those who oppose it claiming religious freedom are trying to impose their interpretation of the Bible’s definition of marriage upon those who don’t agree with that interpretation.

“Or who don’t believe in the Bible at all.”

Exactly. It seems as though the wrong people are claiming a violation on their freedom of religion.

“And it’s hypocritical. If they want to enforce God’s will as determined by the words of the Bible upon the masses, shouldn’t we be stoning adulterers in the streets and telling women to shut up?”

We’re digressing again.

“You’re right. Where was I?”

Why don’t you care?

“Actually, I don’t think that’s the question anymore.”

What do you mean?

“I’m not gay. As we’ve already said, that means this ruling will have no effect on me.”


“So the real question isn’t why don’t I care. The real question is why does anyone who isn’t gay really care about this? Why are they so passionately opposed to it? Why do they think that this is infringing upon their rights in any way?”

I think you just figured out where you stand on this issue.

“More to the point, why are we still fighting about this? The anti-gay-marriage faction just lost. It’s not like you can appeal the supreme court, can you?”

If you don’t know, I don’t know.

“A lot of help you are.”